..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
