careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
