After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
