I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
