White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
