I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
