I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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