We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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