new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
