and she was petting her beer can
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
