giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
