I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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