I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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