College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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