You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
