Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize