For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
