I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
