he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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