shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize