he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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