I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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