So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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