HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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