I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
