Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
