Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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