Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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