my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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