and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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