She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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