Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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