Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
