I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
