I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
