The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
