Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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