You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
