I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize