he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
