just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize