If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
