very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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