TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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