everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
