I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
