There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
