at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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