Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
