i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
