We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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