i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
