just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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