You can't special order awesome
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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