just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
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They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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