It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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