i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
