I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
