Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
