arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
