How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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