idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
