...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
