Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
