You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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